Emmaline Emerald Bentley and Fenella Rosemary Bentley. We sound like we’re about to be coronated or that we are the
horse riding porn stars of Sluts find their Suitors.
When asked why my mother decided to crown us with these marvelously middle class (reaching above themselves) names, she said ‘Well,
darling, I want you to be remembered.’ Now let’s stop right there. This little gem
of motherly affection has definitely confirmed my remembrance, but NOT, for the
name Fenella, no, no, no. Vanilla and Fanny are the two that people really
enjoy shouting down corridors … at work. Who knew humour could be so juvenile?
My sister Emmaline on the other hand, that’s not caused as
many problems, but maybe that’s because ‘Emmaline’ is not my sisters real name,
her name is in fact just Emma. But my beloved mother, after our peer in- peer out
father had done his last bout of peering, decided to rename Emma, Emmaline. In
fact it took one of my sister’s boyfriends six months before he realised that
Emmaline Bentley was not his girlfriend’s name at all!
All living under pseudonyms for no reason whatsoever, the
madness which is my family, has now been passed on to the next generation, it
really is an endless cycle.
Then again dear readers, my luck isn't so bad, I have a friend
named Richard Seamen, a careers adviser called Bruce Woodcock, and a professor
crowned Gavin Mountjoy ….
The joy a name can bring.
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